It’s Not People-Pleasing. It’s Self-Abandonment.

People pleasing is not a virtue. It’s not altruistic and selfless to prioritize others’ needs over our own. It’s an insidious and self-sabotaging habit, especially for those of us living with ADHD who feel like we’re constantly letting people down and, therefore, must do more, more, more.

But people pleasing, as I and others with ADHD know, often results in little more than broken promises — to others, and to ourselves. People-pleasing behaviors like failing to set boundaries, readily assuming blame, and being overly agreeable for validation’s sake lead to unmet goals, dissatisfaction, burnout, and resentment.

What finally helped me address people-pleasing behaviors was a powerful reframe: I’m not pleasing people; I’m abandoning myself.

It hit hard when I thought of how many times I’ve abandoned myself across my life, but I let this realization propel me to do better for myself.

How to Stop Abandoning Yourself

Read more here.