RSD and ADHD/CPTSD

How to Control Your Emotions and RSD in Real Time
When RSD hits, it hits hard. Use this guide to manage intense emotions in the moment.
Read the article here.

“How I Dismantle My RSD with Mindfulness”
“I don’t always get it right, and RSD sometimes gets the best of me, but regularly practicing mindfulness has undoubtedly upped my emotional resilience. Most importantly, I’m learning to be gentle with myself.”
Read the article here.

For many people with ADHD, rejection doesn’t just sting; it overwhelms. A passing comment, a shift in tone, or a feeling of being left out can trigger rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) — an intense emotional reaction that is rapid, physical, and almost impossible to control.

Learn what is currently understood about RSD, why it remains under-recognized in research, how it shows up in everyday life — and what helps in the moment of emotional overwhelm.

You will learn:

• What is happening in the brains and bodies of people with ADHD to make rejection sensitivity feels so intense
• How rejection sensitivity can shape behavior patterns, such as self-abandonment, avoidance, and perfectionism
• What to do in the moment when you feel triggered
• Practical ways to build emotional resilience and raise your threshold for triggers over time
• What partners, family members, and colleagues can do to respond helpfully (and what to avoid)

EXPERT: James Kustow, BMedSci, BMBS, MRCPsych 

DATE and TIME: Thursday, June 11, 2026 @ 1pm EDT 

 This webinar will be recorded. Register here.

When 😡comes to visit

Sieh dir diesen Beitrag auf Instagram an

Ein Beitrag geteilt von Holly Hatam - The Mindful Artist 🧠👩🏽‍🎨 (@hollyhatamillustration)

The Emotional Resilience Playbook for People with Big Emotions

Big emotions spill over sometimes. It happens, especially when ADHD brings with it emotional dysregulation. But by developing emotional resilience we can learn to minimize the damage caused by big emotions and hone emotionally healthy responses in the future. Here’s how.

ADHD brains are routinely hijacked by big emotions — and big problems often follow.

Sometimes, adults with ADHD react with big emotions when things don’t go according to expectations. Even minor frustrations and interruptions can cause us to overreact with an outburst or meltdown, making it hard to complete tasks and maintain relationships.

This emotional dysregulation creates a vicious cycle, dooming us to repeat the same reaction again and again.

We can’t always stop big emotions from spilling over, but we can learn to minimize the damage they cause to others and ourselves and develop emotionally healthy responses in the future. This process of developing emotional resilience is critical. But first, we need to understand how we process our emotions: by hurling or by hiding.

....

Calming Big Emotions

Here are some more catharsis tips:

• Sit up, push back your shoulders, and take a deep breath.
• Vomit words (i.e., rant) safely.
• Move your body.
• Try tapping (also known as Emotional Freedom Technique).
• Consider self-havening, or therapeutic touch, 
• Cool down.
• Establish daily practices
• Choose how you want to feel.

Read the full article on Additudemag.com

How to Tap the Brakes on Runaway Emotions

Runaway emotions cause more than drama. They undermine relationships, sap motivation, and lead to regretful actions. Here, learn everyday strategies for keeping ADHD emotions from boiling over by better managing your brain.

People with ADHD feel emotions more intensely than others do. When they feel happiness and excitement, it makes them more interesting and engaging. But strong emotion has its downside as well.

People with ADHD are impulsive. They get carried away by what they are feeling, and act on it without considering how it will affect other people or themselves. If you see something interesting at the store, you may get excited and buy that item and forget the rest of your shopping list.

This is the challenge of emotional self-control - having the appropriate emotion and feeling it at the right intensity. When it comes to getting things done, people with ADHD struggle with both sides of the equation.

They get excited about distractions and get bored with the tasks they should be doing. They can’t hunker down. They can’t get things done. They may wonder, “Why am I so emotional all the time?”

Lack of emotional control creates common and predictable struggles in daily life:

• Sharing too much - there are times when it’s better not to reveal too much, such as at a work meeting or when trying to manage a frustrating child.
• Behaving spontaneously - without stopping and thinking before acting.
• Having “motivational deficit disorder” - people with ADHD have a harder time motivating themselves to start and finish tasks that aren’t interesting. Giving in to emotions brings this disorder on.
• Losing the big picture - leading to decisions that they may later regret.
• Losing the other person’s perspective - leading to self-centeredness or stepping on a friend’s feelings.
• Saying something you later regret.
• Showing anger or frustration - undermining relationships with friends, family, or your boss.
• Quitting a job on an impulse.

15 Good Habits Your Brain Craves (But Isn’t Getting)

Read more on Additudemag.com.

DESR: “Does ADHD Emotional Dysregulation Ever Fade?”

Emotional dysregulation is a core facet of ADHD that is excluded from official diagnostic criteria and most symptom tests — a contradiction that is pushing researchers and clinicians to further investigate the connection. One such ADHD expert is Russell Barkley, Ph.D., who has coined the term deficient emotional self-regulation (DESR) to describe this fundamental trait.

Deficient emotional self-regulation (DESR) is a new term describing an age-old problem of impulsive emotion and emotional self-regulation difficulties among people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD). Specifically, DESR refers to deficiencies in these four aspects of emotional regulation:

• The ability to inhibit inappropriate responses triggered by strong emotions
• The ability to self-soothe to reduce the severity of an intense emotion
• The ability to refocus attention from emotionally provocative events
• The ability to substitute healthier responses in the interest of long-term welfare

Though it’s not included in the condition’s DSM-5 criteria, DESR and emotional impulsivity are fundamental components of ADHD that shape an individual’s experiences and challenges throughout their lifetime.

Read the full article on Additudemag.com.

The Emotional Resilience Playbook for People with Big Emotions

Big emotions spill over sometimes. It happens, especially when ADHD brings with it emotional dysregulation. But by developing emotional resilience we can learn to minimize the damage caused by big emotions and hone emotionally healthy responses in the future. Here’s how.

ADHD brains are routinely hijacked by big emotions — and big problems often follow.

Sometimes, adults with ADHD react with big emotions when things don’t go according to expectations. Even minor frustrations and interruptions can cause us to overreact with an outburst or meltdown, making it hard to complete tasks and maintain relationships.

This emotional dysregulation creates a vicious cycle, dooming us to repeat the same reaction again and again.

We can’t always stop big emotions from spilling over, but we can learn to minimize the damage they cause to others and ourselves and develop emotionally healthy responses in the future. This process of developing emotional resilience is critical. But first, we need to understand how we process our emotions: by hurling or by hiding.

Hurlers and Hiders (aka Fire Breathers and Shame Eaters)

Most people with ADHD who experience strong ADHD emotions fall into one of two camps: the “hurlers” or the “hiders.” The hurlers, aka fire breathers, sling their big emotions at anyone or anything around them. In doing so, they damage their relationships in ways they may not realize or understand.

The hiders, aka shame eaters, shove their emotions inside. Why? It might be due to conflict avoidance, fear of rejection, low self-esteem, or the feeling that they won’t be heard. They may experience stomach or digestive issues because they’re stuffing their emotions into their body.

Strategies for Hiders

You can read the full article on Additudemag.com.

Me, if I was Alice!

Neurodivergent rage

AD(H)D and anger

Today, I saw that meme on Facebook and wondered that other people also have anger issues. I had forgotten that I had posted about it 12 years ago 😄

It is not a topic that people - neurotypical or neurodivergent alike - usually talk about, and I had never heard before that it can be an issue in neurodivergent people and a symptom of AD(H)D.

So I googled and found those articles that I want to share here:

ADHD Rage and Anger Issues: New Insights into Emotional Dysregulation and Treatment Considerations

Irritability, anger issues, and emotional dysregulation in general contribute significantly to the psychosocial burden of ADHD in children and adults. The latest research suggests that these rage problems are inherent to ADHD and may require specific treatment.

Anger issues stemming from emotional dysregulation – while noticeably missing from diagnostic criteria for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD) – are a fundamental part of the ADHD experience for a significant number of children and adults. Even when controlling for related comorbid conditions, individuals with ADHD experience disproportionate problems with anger, irritability, and managing other emotions. These problems walk in lock step with the general difficulties in self-regulation that characterize ADHD. Recent findings, however, suggest that problems with emotional regulation, including anger and negative emotions, are genetically linked to ADHD, too.

Ultimately, emotional dysregulation is one major reason that ADHD is subjectively difficult to manage, and why it also poses such a high risk for other problems like depression, anxiety, or negative self-medication. Scientific and clinical attention are now increasingly turning to correct the past neglect of this integral aspect of ADHD.

Recognizing this inherent relationship between emotional dysregulation and ADHD is also important when discerning between related and similar conditions, like disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD), bipolar disorder, intermittent explosive disorder (IED), depression, anxiety disorders, and oppositional defiant disorder (ODD). In all, paying mind to anger issues and emotionality in patients with ADHD is crucial for successful treatment and symptom management in the long term.

Anger Issues and ADHD: Theories & Research

Though separated from ADHD in official nomenclature today, emotional dysregulation and anger were connected to ADHD in the mid-20th century before current diagnostic norms were created, and have continued to form part of personal and clinical experiences. Decades ago, when ADHD was known as “minimal brain dysfunction,” criteria for diagnosis actually included aspects of negative emotionality.

You can read more on Additude.

*****

You can also find Management Scripts on Additude.

*****

How ADHD Amplifies Emotions

Emotional dysregulation is a core symptom of ADHD. The result: overblown reactions to small setbacks or challenges. In this video, learn the brain chemistry behind your runaway feelings.

“Emotion regulation is a big part of ADHD that has been traditionally ignored,” says Joel Nigg, Ph.D. “When comparing ADHD brains to those without, we see that the connection between the prefrontal cortex and the reward system has reduced activation, especially in the dorsal part of the prefrontal cortex. This could explain overexcitement, frustration & anger, and inability to respond to delayed rewards.”

More here.

Prefrontal cortex according to English Wikipedia:

This brain region has been implicated in executive functions, such as planning, decision making, working memory, personality expression, moderating social behavior and controlling certain aspects of speech and language. Executive function relates to abilities to differentiate among conflicting thoughts, determine good and bad, better and best, same and different, future consequences of current activities, working toward a defined goal, prediction of outcomes, expectation based on actions, and social "control" (the ability to suppress urges that, if not suppressed, could lead to socially unacceptable outcomes).

According to German Wikipedia:

The prefrontal cortex receives sensory signals and is correlated with the integration of memory content and emotional evaluations. On this basis, there is a correlational relationship between prefrontal brain activity and action planning.

Calm Your Amygdala Music on YouTube.

*****

Emotional Instability: A Core Symptom of ADHD?

A new report claims that emotional instability should be listed as a core symptom of ADHD in the DSM, instead of just hyperactivity and inattention.

You can read more on Additude.

*****

Emotional Regulation: 7 Truths About ADHD Emotions on YouTube.

*****

ADHD | Emotional Hypersensitivity on YouTube - the tips are good!

*****

For two decades now I thought my abusive mother and sister had ADHD (while I have ADD), but reading those Symptoms of DMDD, I think, they might (also) have DMDD:

Children with DMDD alternate between extended periods of moodiness and temper outbursts. “It’s a combination of persistently irritable or annoyed mood that hangs on for an unusually long time, usually more than half of the child’s waking hours, and excessive or frequent temper outbursts,” explains James Waxmonsky, MD, division chief, Child Psychiatry at Penn State Health.

Taming the Temper-Prone ADDer

If you overreact or get defensive for no reason, these anger-management tips can help.

by Sandy Maynard

Filed Under: ADHD and Anger, ADHD and Anxiety, ADHD Social Skills,

Do you lash out when your spouse reminds you — nicely — to take out the dog or pick up a gallon of milk? Do you fly off the handle when the boss asks you to turn in the next assignment on time?

I know many people who do, including myself. In fact, many of us adults with attention deficit disorder (ADD/ADHD) lack restraint when we think that someone is dissing us. The question is: Are they? Because many of us have low self-esteem — after years of negative interactions — we are hypersensitive to criticism, real or imagined.

Bursts of anger have repercussions that last much longer than the few seconds it takes to vent. Having an argument in the workplace can get you fired. Blowing up at a loved one can strain the relationship. And it all takes a toll on your self-esteem — bringing remorse or shame for days afterward.

Get the Anger Out?

My client, Mike, came to me to learn some anger-management strategies after he realized his ADD tantrums had damaged his relationship with his teenage son, who, like Mike, has attention deficit. Mike had long believed that “getting the anger out of [his] system” was healthy.

Until now. “My outbursts are creating a rift between me and my son that doubling his allowance won’t repair,” he told me. “I need to figure out how to keep anger in check — or I may make front-page news for strangling my son!”

I explained that most teens know which buttons to press, because they installed them. After a good laugh, we identified the times when Mike was most likely to lose his temper — after a tough day at work when he had screwed up an assignment. When he came home to find that his son hadn’t taken out the garbage — again — Mike got upset. If his son had a fender bender, received a parking ticket, or cut out of school early, Mike blew his lid.

Help, Don’t Yell

I reminded Mike that he must maintain realistic expectations about his son, who was easily distracted. Mike came to see that neither he nor his son was perfect, and that he should adjust his own imperfect behavior. Instead of yelling at his teen for forgetting to do a chore, Mike worked on helping him remember to do it by posting a list on a bulletin board in the kitchen and reinforcing it with text messages during the day.

If Mike’s son still forgot — or got into trouble at school — Mike learned to observe his rising anger, and figured out ways to short-circuit it. He took a relaxing walk with his dog and deferred discussions with his son until Saturday or Sunday morning, when he felt refreshed and less pressured by his job. He and his son were able to talk calmly — and productively — during those chats.

Finally, Mike found comfort in a local ADD support group for parents contending with similar problems. It is a great comfort to him to know that he isn’t alone with his anger problems.

Hit the Pause Button

Another client, Karin, who was sweet and personable during her visits, surprised me when she told me she had problems managing her anger at work. Karin was furious with a coworker who frequently blamed her for something that wasn’t her fault.

Instead of talking with the coworker or her immediate supervisor, she acted impulsively and went to the boss to defend herself. “Knowing that everyone thought it was my fault that the company lost the contract made me so angry,” says Karin. “I felt I had to let Mr. James know that it wasn’t.” Karin’s supervisor was livid about

We talked about a strategy that would let her indulge her anger without acting rashly. I suggested that she set a timer and let herself be angry for five minutes. After the time was up, she had to move on. I also had her place a visual cue next to her phone that would remind her to pause before taking rash action — like calling the boss. She rummaged through her photos and found a snapshot of herself and her kids making sand castles on the beach.

“Looking at the photo does two things for me when I get angry,” says Karin. “It reminds me that my job is not as important as it seems. What counts most is my relationship with my family. It also reminds me that my happiness doesn’t come from my job but from within—and that no coworker or boss can take it away from me.”

Karin still gets angry at work, so she has expanded her cuing strategy: She keeps a draft folder for e-mails labeled “Wait On.” If she thinks she is sending e-mail out of anger, she lets her message sit for 24 hours and re-reads it before hitting the send button. “Many of these e-mails never leave that folder. If I decide to send one, I edit out rude or inappropriate remarks before doing so.”

And when she does slip up and says something that she regrets later? “I own up to my mistake and apologize.” Not all of her apologies are accepted graciously, but saying she’s sorry makes her feel better about herself. As a result, her relationship with her coworkers has improved dramatically.

(additudemag.com)