Ability and inability and "sickness" of a HSP

A guy wrote on a HSP-Facebook page:

It's a funny thing this ability of feeling everyone, combined with the inability of understanding the very same.

That is so so so so true!

And a woman wrote on the same page:

Today was a tough day, I told two of my closest friends that I'm an HSP, they compared that to having schizophrenia or Aspergers syndrome. They were questioning whether medication would make me better. They questioned how I trust my perception of situations around me.. It really hurt. I do not have a mental disorder, I'm just different.... How does one deal with this situation?

I wish I could give her some advice, for I know that situation very well. Yesterday a bro told me he couldn't marry me, because I was sick - oh well ... his bad, not mine :)

It's Good To Be Sensitive! - 25 Wonderful Aspects Of Highly Sensitive People

Wonderful article!

http://richawriter.hubpages.com/hub/Its-Good-To-Be-Sensitive-25-Wonderful-Aspects-Of-Highly-Sensitive-People

Winnie Pu hat ADS

Winnie Pu hat ADS

Controlling Anxiety

Larry Silver, M.D.

Q: "My 18-year-old becomes very anxious as her long-acting stimulant wears off. She asked about taking a higher dose. What do you think is going on here?"

A: The anxiety might be a rebound effect, which sometimes happens as medication wears off, or it might be her reaction to the return of her symptoms (especially if it wears off during class or at another inconvenient time). You may want to discuss a dose increase with her doctor. See if this lasts longer and doesn't cause anxiety. One other caution: If your daughter has an anxiety disorder [see "When AD/HD Is Only Part of the Story"], the stimulant could be exacerbating this. If so, this condition must be treated in addition to AD/HD.

When to Give Kids Another Dose

Larry Silver, M.D.

Q: "My seven-year-old son takes Adderall. He is fine while on the medication, but when it wears off, he becomes defiant and mean. Is this a side effect of the medication?"

A: One possible side effect for Ritalin, Dexedrine, or Adderall (or any of the stimulant medications for ADHD) is “rebound.” This means that, about 30 minutes after the last dose wears off, the child or adolescent becomes very irritable (or hyper or loud or aggressive). These behaviors typically last for an hour.

The solution might be to add an additional, short-acting dose so that the medication wears off only at bedtime, or to decrease the last dose to see if the rebound is less severe. If giving an additional dose late in the afternoon, you should carefully monitor your child’s appetite in the evening (when many children with ADHD eat their largest meal), to ensure that appetite suppression doesn’t interfere with proper nutrition. If neither approach works, it may be necessary to try a different medication.

(additudemag.com)

Stand Up for Your Child with ADHD

How parents can explain ADHD to doubters both in and outside the family.

by Edward Hallowell, M.D.

You are sitting on the sidelines of the soccer field watching a melt down from your daughter with attention deficit disorder (ADHD). She stomps off the field, throws her water bottle on the ground, and argues with a teammate — all because she missed a kick.

You’re not surprised. It’s 4 p.m., and her ADD medication is wearing off. It’s a difficult time of day for her, and you’ve learned to joke together about late afternoon, calling it the witching hour.

Then the mother next to you mutters, “Someone ought to get that kid under control!” and your blood boils. You’d love to set her straight, but you hold your tongue.

You are less likely to hold back when the criticism comes from family. You expect support from those you love. So when your sister says, “Really Mary, you ought to discipline that child!” you probably don’t want to let her comments go unanswered.

You’ve told them a dozen times that she has ADD, but they “don’t believe in it” or “don’t get it.” Their criticisms are an unfair indictment of your parenting skills — and of your child. You know you’re not incompetent, and they should, too. What to do?

Talk Down Your Family

Unless you want to be forever banned from your sister’s house, take a just-the-facts approach. Tell her that it’s important to you that she learn about ADHD, so that she can better understand her wonderful niece. You can facilitate her education by giving her a book about attention deficit or by explaining what you know about the condition.

Another option is discussing your daughter’s doctor’s appointments with your sister. Sharing information about the ADHD diagnosis tests, as well as the doctor’s opinions, may help her understand that ADD is real and that it is the cause of your daughter’s behavior.

You might take the same approach with a mother-in-law, but let your husband do the talking. If that doesn’t work, there might be other reasons why she resists your daughter’s diagnosis. Her behavior might remind her of your husband’s behavior at that age — and evoke anger or unpleasant memories.

You can figure this out by asking some “why” and “what” questions: “Why don’t you believe what we are telling you?” “What is it, specifically, that is bothering you?” are good starting points. Your mother-in-law’s anger is valid, but it should not invalidate a diagnosis of ADHD.

Educate Your Friends When a close friend says something about your child that upsets you, avoid inflammatory debate. Instead, offer guidance to help her respond supportively.

If a friend says, “David would do fine in school, if he would just try harder,” point out that David is trying very hard, but that it takes him longer to acquire the study, time management and organizational skills that come easier to other children.

Explain the key elements of David’s ADD, and the efforts that your family is making to support him. If you need help, there are a number of good resources, including my own Delivered from Distraction and A User’s Guide to the Brain, by Dr. John Ratey.

Finally, ask your friend if she might be willing to accept your daughter for who she is. In doing this, your friend gets a “two-for”—she expands the circle of people who are cheering your daughter on, and she recognizes the effort that you are making on your child’s behalf.

Don’t Forget About You

Supportive friends and extended family are only part of the picture. Make sure that your child knows, every day, how much you love her. Several studies suggest that loving acceptance by parents is the most important thing teens with ADD need in dealing with symptoms.

Showing your love and affection will buoy your child’s sense of hope and help the family weather any criticism that will be directed their way.

(additudemag.com)

The Meaning of ADD/ADHD

The more children know what ADD/ADHD means, the better. Here's how and why you should explain the meaning of ADD/ADHD to your child.

by Larry Silver, M.D.

Your son or daughter has been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD). You’ve done your due diligence, learning about the condition and how the symptoms affect him, academically and socially. Great. But have you shared what ADD/ADHD means with your child? Does she understand why she does things that upset others? Does he know why he is taking medication and how it works? Saying, “You are so hyper all of the time” makes your child feel he is doing something wrong. Saying, “Sometimes your brakes don’t work so well, so you say and do things that might upset your friends” is better.

How Well Should You Explain What ADD/ADHD Means?

Explaining ADD/ADHD to your child, and giving him the words to tell you how his symptoms affect him, will allow you to work more effectively with doctors, teachers, and family members. Martha’s third-grade teacher tells her mom that she is not paying attention during math period. Martha knows how ADD/ADHD affects her and knows the reason for her inattention. “I sit next to a window in math class, and I can’t filter out the noises coming from the playground. The noises make it hard for me to listen to the teacher.” Martha’s mom asks the teacher to move her daughter away from the window. Her grades improve.

Alex, a fourth-grader, gets into trouble running around and bothering the other kids during lunchtime. Like Martha, Alex knows about ADD/ADHD and knows how to talk about it. His dad asks him why he is acting up. “Dad, my brakes work fine until around 11:30. Then, they don’t work too good, and it is hard for me not to run around.” His dad asks, “When do your brakes start to work again?” Alex says, “When I go back to class after lunch.” Alex’s dad realizes that his morning dose of medication wears off around noon and that his afternoon dose doesn’t kick in until he returns to class. That explains his hyperactivity in the cafeteria. He asks Alex’s doctor to switch to a longer-acting medication, and the lunch-period problems stop.

If your child doesn’t understand how ADD/ADHD affects him, he can’t tell you what’s bothering him. Worse, he feels bad about his behaviors because he doesn’t know what’s causing them.

Using the Right Words to Explain the Meaning of ADD/ADHD

There are three groups of behaviors that you may need to explain. Some kids will have one of these, some two, and others all three.

• Hyperactivity: difficulty sitting still; being fidgety and squirmy.
• Inattention: This might be noticed as distractibility (difficulty blocking out unimportant auditory or visual stimulation, having a short attention span); lack of attention (difficulty blocking out internal thoughts); executive function difficulties (problems with organization of materials and thoughts, resulting in losing, forgetting, or misplacing things; difficulty organizing and using information; difficulty with time management).
• Impulsivity: speaking or acting without thinking.

Once you know which behaviors your child exhibits, use the right words to describe them. Here’s what I tell patients:

Explaining Hyperactivity to Children With ADD/ADHD

“Our brain is amazing. It has one area that makes our muscles move. I think of the pedal in a car that makes the car move. It’s called the accelerator. Next to this pedal is another one called the brake. The brakes slow down the car. Some children have a problem with their brakes, so the motor is always running and it is hard to slow down or stop the car. When your brakes don’t work well, it is hard to slow down your body.”

Explaining Distractibility to Children With ADD/ADHD

“Our brain is always reacting to things we see and hear. If we paid attention to everything around us, we couldn’t pay attention to the teacher’s words or to what Mommy is asking you to do. Our brain has a way of blocking out what is not important, so that we can pay attention to what is important. I call this part of the brain the filter. One set of filters blocks out unimportant sounds and another blocks out unimportant sights. Your filter for blocking out unimportant sounds is not working well. So anything you hear comes right in and gets your attention, distracting you.”

Explaining Inattention to Children With ADD/ADHD

“In addition to being able to block out unimportant things we see or hear, we often have to block out unimportant thoughts. When I ask you to hang up your coat, you may be busy thinking about the play date you will have with your friend. Our brain has filters to block out unrelated thoughts, so that we can focus on what we should be paying attention to. If this filter is not working, you seem to be distracted because you are focusing on other thoughts.”

Explaining Executive Function Problems to Children With ADD/ADHD

“There is a part of the brain that helps children keep track of their things. I call this the organizer. Sometimes your organizer does not work as well as you would like. So you might lose, forget, or misplace things.”

Explaining Impulsivity to Children With ADD/ADHD

“Our brains have lots of thoughts and ideas running around in them. Some thoughts are helpful; some aren’t. It is important to think about all of them and to pick the right ones to act on. To do this, our brain has a part I call the pause button. When you press it, you tell your brain to wait until you have considered all of the ideas floating around in your head. If your pause button is not working well, you act on your first thoughts. Only later do you realize what you have done or said, and wish that you had thought more about it.”

Explaining Medication to Children With ADD/ADHD

“Your brakes don’t always work well, so Mommy and the teacher get upset with you. This medicine will help your brakes work better, so that you are not as active. People will not be so upset with you, and you will feel more relaxed.”

When your child understands her ADD/ADHD and how it impacts her, life becomes less unpredictable and confusing. She will understand why certain behaviors happen, and not get down on herself for having them. Find your own words for communicating with your child. You -- and she -- will benefit.

(additudemag.com)