A couple of my clients arrive a few minutes early for every appointment. I sometimes joke with them, “What are you doing here already? You have ADHD, you’re supposed to be late!” All kidding aside, I really do appreciate their punctuality. These folks take being on time seriously, and they’ve found ways to manage their ADHD tendency to be late.
To beat chronic lateness, you first need to understand what’s behind it. There are five basic reasons why we tend to be late: losing track of time, thinking you’re ready but you’re not, trying to squeeze in “just one more thing”, anxiety around being early, and unforeseen emergencies. Here’s how to deal with each one:
Losing track of time. People with ADHD typically have a weak sense of time. We usually aren’t aware of what time it is, or how long something will take. Audible alarms can really help. Set an alarm on your cell phone. Or if you’re using an electronic task management system like Microsoft Outlook or Google Calendar, set it up to notify you before the start of an event. Another possibility is to get a watch with an alarm feature, like the Timex Ironman.
Thinking you’re ready but you’re not. Just as you’re about to walk out the door, you realize you don’t have your gloves. Or your lunch. Or your shoes. Now you’ll be late, which is a shame because you were ready five minutes ago. A good way to deal with this is to do a “leaving now” drill as soon as you think you’re ready. Imagine that it’s time to go. Do you have everything you need in order to walk out the door? Are you fully dressed, including your shoes? Is all your stuff sitting by the door? If not, you’re not truly ready. Being ready in your mind is not the same thing as being ready in real life. And being ready only in your mind is going to make you late.
Trying to squeeze in “just one more thing”. As I wrote last week, that one more thing will always take longer than the time you have before you need to leave. Don’t even try it.
Anxiety around being early. Some people are uncomfortable with idle time. If you show up early, what will you do? Will you have to make idle chitchat (which can be difficult for some ADHDers)? Will you be bored and impatient? Plan ahead for what you might do if you arrive early. Practice your people skills, use the restroom, or just wait in the car and listen to music. Being exactly on time is very difficult, and if you’re not early, you’re probably going to be late.
Unforeseen emergencies. The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Build some buffer time into your schedule to allow for things that just can’t be avoided.
Which of these scenarios derails you the most?
To beat chronic lateness, you first need to understand what’s behind it. There are five basic reasons why we tend to be late: losing track of time, thinking you’re ready but you’re not, trying to squeeze in “just one more thing”, anxiety around being early, and unforeseen emergencies. Here’s how to deal with each one:
Losing track of time. People with ADHD typically have a weak sense of time. We usually aren’t aware of what time it is, or how long something will take. Audible alarms can really help. Set an alarm on your cell phone. Or if you’re using an electronic task management system like Microsoft Outlook or Google Calendar, set it up to notify you before the start of an event. Another possibility is to get a watch with an alarm feature, like the Timex Ironman.
Thinking you’re ready but you’re not. Just as you’re about to walk out the door, you realize you don’t have your gloves. Or your lunch. Or your shoes. Now you’ll be late, which is a shame because you were ready five minutes ago. A good way to deal with this is to do a “leaving now” drill as soon as you think you’re ready. Imagine that it’s time to go. Do you have everything you need in order to walk out the door? Are you fully dressed, including your shoes? Is all your stuff sitting by the door? If not, you’re not truly ready. Being ready in your mind is not the same thing as being ready in real life. And being ready only in your mind is going to make you late.
Trying to squeeze in “just one more thing”. As I wrote last week, that one more thing will always take longer than the time you have before you need to leave. Don’t even try it.
Anxiety around being early. Some people are uncomfortable with idle time. If you show up early, what will you do? Will you have to make idle chitchat (which can be difficult for some ADHDers)? Will you be bored and impatient? Plan ahead for what you might do if you arrive early. Practice your people skills, use the restroom, or just wait in the car and listen to music. Being exactly on time is very difficult, and if you’re not early, you’re probably going to be late.
Unforeseen emergencies. The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Build some buffer time into your schedule to allow for things that just can’t be avoided.
Which of these scenarios derails you the most?
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