Surviving Life as a Highly Sensitive Person

Learning to understand and accept your high sensitvity, while surviving some of life's everyday challenges.

There is a small percentage of the human population that feels out of place, most of the time. This small percentage of the human population possesses the inherited trait of high sensitivity. Exactly what, you may ask, is sensitivity, and why does it cause one to experience life so differently from the rest of the world?

What is High Sensitivity?

Simply put, sensitivity is a heightened response to outside sources of stimulation, according to Elaine Aron, author of the book The Highly Sensitive Person. In her book, Aron explores the fact that being sensitive means that you often see and experience things more intensely, picking up on small details that others typically miss.

Aron also indicates that a highly sensitive person is aware of the unspoken, thinks and contemplates a lot, is intuitive and often creative. They are also often the outwardly calm, insightful members of society who feel compelled to help those around them. A highly sensitive person typically possesses a sense of deeper meaning and purpose to life and will not be satisfied with a vocation that only produces a paycheck.

Difficulties Facing a Sensitive Person

A sensitive’s natural ability to empathize with others means that they often absorb another’s energy and emotions involuntarily. They may have difficulty separating their own emotions from others’, quickly finding themselves in a state of irritation and over-stimulation. Because a highly sensitive person can find themselves feeling overwhelmed in situations where others are not, they may exhibit certain behaviors and characteristics which get misinterpreted. They often get mislabeled as “shy,” “unapproachable,” “extremely sensitive,” “uncommunicative,” or even “incompetent.”

Navigating through life as a sensitive can be difficult if one doesn’t know what’s causing them to feel the way they do. That’s why it’s important to educate yourself about the trait and its implications. A great place to start is with Elaine Aron’s website at HSPerson.com.

A Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide

In order to navigate yourself successfully throughout your day, you first have to realize that as a highly sensitive person, you’re going to feel and react differently. The first real step is to realize that you shouldn’t have to apologize for your feelings and your perceptions. Just because they are different, doesn’t mean that they’re wrong. It is very important to come to a state of acceptance about yourself, the trait, and its implications. That said, there are a few simple coping mechanisms that can be helpful:

•     Allow yourself to take a break when feeling over stimulated or on edge. Even if that break is just for five minutes.
• Learn to develop a mental shield to use when there’s a lot of activity going on in your environment. The best way to start practicing is to create a comforting place within your mind that you can “escape” to on a moment’s notice.
• Learn to recognize when your intuition is telling you that a situation or someone may not be the right choice. Don’t put yourself in situations where you know you’re not going to be fulfilled or it’s just going to be “too much.”
• Don’t choose your actions out of a need to make everything ok. You can’t possibly please everyone or make everyone like you. Learn to follow your heart first.
• Believe in your perspective, even if someone else wants to discount it. A sensitive can often sense what’s really going on beneath the surface, which can make others uncomfortable. They also often naturally sense what will result in the most compassionate, understanding, and workable solution.
• Don’t try to be something that you’re not. If others tell you to “toughen up” or “get a thicker skin,” just pretend as though you are listening, but be true to your nature. Trying to compromise who you really are just leads to more stress and eventual discontent.
• Allow yourself to have adequate alone and “downtime.” Try to communicate to others that this is not because you don’t want to socialize at all-it just means you don’t want to socialize right now.
• Realize that there are always going to be people who don’t understand you. Some of them don’t even want to. Learn to understand and accept yourself first.
• Live with passion and meaning. Find what's important to you and do it. Embrace the experience of living.

Sensitivity is an inherited biological trait that can make one more likely to be bothered by outside sources of stimulation. The trait also makes one more aware of subtleties in the environment, which can quickly lead to overthinking. A highly sensitive person may also find themselves being affected by details that others are able to simply ignore or let go. As a highly sensitive person living in today's more stimulating environment, it is important to educate yourself about the trait. It is also important to find ways to adjust your behavioral responses so that you do not become as easily overwhelmed.

(helen-akers.suite101.com)

Find Value in Highly Sensitive Personality Character Traits

Through her extensive research on the Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine N. Aron, PhD celebrates the uncommon HSP personality trait and those who have it.

In her first book, The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When Life Overwhelms You, Elaine Aron explains the characteristics of a highly sensitive person (HSP). She describes the personality traits of people who feel over-stimulated when others appear unaffected. Dr. Aron is highly sensitive herself and, as a clinical psychologist, has done thorough research to learn the common characteristics, pitfalls and advantages of being an HSP.

5 Characteristics of a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

1. Perhaps the most obvious character trait is acuity to things seen, felt, tasted, heard and smelled. For example, an HSP may notice the scent of perfume when others do not. He may be more sensitive to loud noises or may hear subtle sounds when others do not.

2. An HSP may feel overstimulated in a room where many of these senses are activated. For example, this could be a room is filled with a large number of people and even more stimulating, many conversations going on simultaneously. Perhaps the lights are very bright, or the room feels congested or stuffy.

3. An HSP can more poignantly sense the moods of others whether they be positive or negative, especially if this is someone with whom he is in a relationship.

4. An HSP has a keen sense of awareness and can see the big picture easily.

5. An HSP is strongly moved, emotionally, by an experience, memory, artwork or music.

Pitfalls of High Sensitivity

1. The highly sensitive become easily overwhelmed when presented with stimulating situations, deadlines or environments.

2. An HSP needs a strong supply of "down time". He has a stronger need to withdraw from others and may even need to rest before re-integrating.

3. An HSP can be very sensitive to pain.

4. Negative emotional experiences may feel much more traumatic and possibly will take longer to heal.

5. Other people may view sensitivity in a negative light and try to change the HSP, considering this person as "too sensitive".

Advantages of Being Highly Sensitive Person

1. The highly sensitive has a very rich inner life.

2. An HSP is typically very conscientious and persevering.

4. A highly sensitive person is a loyal friend, active listener and the best person to go to for encouragement.

5. An HSP has strong empathy and compassion.

If you see yourself in some of these traits or if you know someone who is highly sensitive, you may want read The Highly Sensitive Person. Aron has written several equally informative and well-received books which include: The Highly Sensitive Person in Love, The Highly Sensitive Child, and her most recent book, The Undervalued Self, which was published in 2010. The highly sensitive make valuable and often critical contributions to society. The more they are understood, the more they will be appreciated and valued.

(georgeann-fries.suite101.com)

Highly Sensitive People in Love

Understanding Intensity and Fear in Intimate Relationships

Highly sensitive people accept & offer love differently. Some highly sensitive people fall in love faster & harder than "regular" people, & others avoid love altogether.

Highly sensitive people don't necessarily have introverted personality traits, and they view love, intimate relationships, and romance differently.

"In respect to falling in love, my research suggests that highly sensitive people do fall in love harder than others," says Dr Elaine Aron in The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You. But, highly sensitive people don't fall in love indiscriminately, and are known to avoid it completely.

"Highly sensitive people vary more than others in the kinds of arrangements they work out in [love], choosing being single more often than the general population, or firmer monogamy, or close relationships with friends and family members rather than romance," writes Dr Aron.

Sensitive Love: Highly Sensitive People Love Deeply

Feelings of overwhelming, intense love happen more often to highly sensitive people because they're more easily aroused by external and internal stimuli. "Arousal" in this case doesn't simply refer to intimate feelings; highly sensitive people are more sensitive to sounds, sights, and touches. Their nervous systems are fine-tuned and they're in touch with the moods of other people.

Why Sensitive Love is Often Rejected

When highly sensitive people reveal their intense love, they're often rejected. Their love can be too demanding, unrealistic, and smothering. Highly sensitive people may have "no real understanding of the loved one, only some impossible vision of perfection."

Dr Aron states that the intense feelings of highly sensitive people often have little to do with the person they love. This sensitive love is more about intense pent-up feelings that are finally allowed out. In this way, highly sensitive people are similar to introverts.

Highly Sensitive Love: Understanding Overwhelming Love

Highly sensitive people tend towards two extremes in love: overly cautious or overly intense. Dr Aron reassures us that this is normal: many people, highly sensitive or not, do lean towards one extreme or the other. This is why fear of intimacy is common: most of us have been burned in love at one time or another.

The fact that highly sensitive people are easily aroused by their environment makes them more prone to falling in love. Research shows that when people – highly sensitive or not – are aroused, they're more likely to fall in love. Arousal includes more than a sexual state; it's emotional, intellectual, social, and spiritual as well. "…we are more likely to be romantically attracted to someone else if we are aroused in any way, even from running in place or listening to a tape of a comedy monologue," says Dr Aron.

Sensitive Love, Highly Sensitive People, & Low Self-Esteem

Another reason highly sensitive people may experience quick, intense love is low self-esteem. "Highly sensitive people are prone to low self-esteem because they are not their culture's ideal. Sometimes they consider themselves lucky if someone wants them at all." The fear of being alone can induce a highly sensitive person – or anyone at all – to fall in love when they otherwise wouldn't.

Highly sensitive people are more likely to have strong, healthy love relationships when they and their lovers understand and accept the nature of their personality type.

(l-pawlik-kienlen.suite101.com)

This week's ADHD Solution is: Deal with internal distractions.

Distractibility is one of the predominant traits of ADHD. Not only do you have to deal with external distractions (“Look! A squirrel!”), but there are internal distractions, too. Random ideas appear out of nowhere. You suddenly remember something you wanted to do. We’re most often distracted by our own thoughts.

Given your impulsive nature, your most likely response to any sudden recollection is, “Oh, I’d better take care of that right now before I forget again!” This causes you to stop what you’re doing and start something else. Then you get distracted by another thought, and start another something else. You probably have a lot of projects going on as a result. Even if you don’t act on the impulse, worrying about forgetting again keeps you from focusing.

A great way to deal with this type of internal distraction is to jot it down instead of taking immediate action. Keep a notepad nearby, or use sticky notes or your smart phone. Or put it right into your task management system. By writing the thought down, you’ll know it’s been safely captured and won’t slip away – so your brain doesn’t feel the need to keep rehashing it for fear of losing it. You can wrap up what you’re working on, then go take care of the thing you remembered.

This works for random ideas, too. Many of our best ideas come at inconvenient times. Putting them on paper will keep them from slipping back into the ether. You’ll have something tangible to follow up on later. And you’ll be developing more control over your impulsivity.

www.adhdsolutions.net

I'm a HSP and proud of it :)

5 days ago I found out that I not only have ADD but that I am also a HSP. I am so happy to know now, that there are other people like me, thank God!

Here is a video for more information:

Hochsensible Personen hören, sehen und schmecken mehr

16.01.2012 | 16:41 |  VON THOMAS HARTL (Die Presse)

Im Falle von Hochsensibilität - nach Schätzung sind immerhin rund 20 Prozent der Bevölkerung betroffen - gelangen auf Grund neurologischer Besonderheiten mehr Reize aus der Umwelt in die bewusste Wahrnehmung.

Jeder Mensch nimmt seine Umwelt subjektiv und auf seine ganz spezielle Weise wahr. Zahllose Sinneseindrücke wie Geräusche, Gerüche und optische Reize prasseln unaufhörlich auf uns ein. Viel zu viele, als dass wir sie bewusst wahrnehmen oder sie uns gar Probleme bereiten würden. Letzteres gilt jedoch nicht für alle von uns, denn ein Teil der Bevölkerung, nach Expertenschätzung sind es immerhin rund 20 Prozent, nimmt mehr Informationen aus der Umwelt auf als die anderen. Es handelt sich hierbei um sogenannte hochsensible Personen. Vorweg: Wenn hier von Hochsensibilität die Rede ist, ist damit eine gesteigerte Sensibilität in Bezug auf die Wahrnehmung von Reizen gemeint und nicht die emotionale „Dünnhäutigkeit“ eines Menschen.

Ein Viertel aller Österreicher

„Viele Betroffene wissen gar nicht, dass sie hochsensibel sind. Sie merken zwar, dass sie anders sind als die meisten anderen, aber auch nicht mehr. Wir haben über Jahre hinweg extrem umfangreiche Befragungen gemacht. 70.000 Menschen haben die Fragebögen ausgefüllt. Die Zahlen sind sehr eindeutig“, sagt Georg Parlow, Autor des Buches „Zart besaitet – Selbstverständnis, Selbstachtung und Selbsthilfe für hochsensible Menschen“ (Festland-Verlag).

„Es gibt zwar keine offiziellen Zahlen, aber es dürfte ein Fünftel bis ein Viertel aller Österreicher betroffen sein“, meint Günther Possnigg, Psychotherapeut und Facharzt für Neurologie und Psychiatrie in Wien.
Bei Hochsensiblen werden die Sinnesreize im Gehirn in geringerem Ausmaß gefiltert als üblich. Es gelangen aufgrund neurologischer Besonderheiten mehr Reize in ihre bewusste Wahrnehmung. Sie sehen, riechen, hören, schmecken, ertasten und/oder erfühlen also mehr und intensiver als andere. Für Betroffene bedeutet das eine wahre Flut an Eindrücken, der man sich oft nicht erwehren kann.

Konkret bedeutet eine solche Veranlagung, dass man zum Beispiel Geräusche wahrnimmt und oft auch als störend empfindet, die andere Menschen erst gar nicht registrieren. Dies kann sowohl Leid als auch Freude mit sich bringen. Ein Beispiel: Ein LKW donnert über die Straße und man erzittert ängstlich; ein Vogel singt hoch oben im Baum und man erfreut sich bewusst an den Tönen.
Flucht und erhöhter Stresslevel

Welche Reize Hochsensible im Einzelfall intensiver wahrnehmen, ist unterschiedlich. Manche haben mit Geräuschen ein Problem, andere nehmen Gerüche oder optische Eindrücke intensiver oder facettenreicher wahr. Wieder andere haben ein ausgesprochen feines Gespür für Schwingungen in zwischenmenschlichen Beziehungen.
 

Beispiele aus dem Alltag: Für die einen ist es unerträglich, in einer gesellschaftlichen Runde zu essen, weil all die Gerüche, das Stimmengewirr, der Rauch, die Musik im Hintergrund rasch zur Überlastung des Nervensystems führen. Andere wiederum sprechen stark auf Parfums an, manchen ist es unmöglich sich zu unterhalten, wenn nebenher lautstark Kinder spielen. Die häufigste Reaktion auf dieses Unwohlsein ist Flucht oder zumindest der dringliche Wunsch, die Situation zu verlassen. Dies bedeutet einen erhöhten Stresslevel.

Kann Schmerzen verursachen

Da die Intensität der Informationsaufnahme bei Betroffenen höher ist als bei anderen Menschen, stoßen Hochsensible früher an ihre „Schmerzgrenze“. Eine Überstimulation an Reizen kann in der Tat Schmerzen verursachen, denn bei Überlastung wehrt sich der Körper. Unwohlsein, muskuläre und nervliche Anspannung sind andere Symptome der Überreizung des Nervensystems.
Weiters benötigen Hochsensible viel Zeit, Erlebtes zu reflektieren, darüber nachzudenken, oft endlos zu grübeln. „70 Prozent von uns sind introvertiert und situationsbedingt häufig auf dem Rückzug. Dadurch werden wir oft als scheu und gehemmt eingestuft. Dabei sind die meisten von uns mindestens ebenso kontaktbedürftig wie alle anderen“, sagt Parlow, der selbst zu dieser Personengruppe zählt.

Hochsensibilität ist keine Krankheit, sondern eine Eigenschaft, ein Persönlichkeitsmerkmal. Freilich braucht es für diese Menschen eine Umgebung, die ihren speziellen Bedürfnissen entspricht. Eine nicht angepasste Lebensweise bedeutet ein Gesundheitsrisiko, es besteht dann die Gefahr, psychische oder psychosomatische Erkrankungen zu entwickeln. Hochsensible sind anfällig für bestimmte psychische Erkrankungen, etwa für Angststörungen oder Burnout. Häufig leiden sie unter bestimmten Geräuschen und entwickeln eine Angst vor diesen Geräuschen (Phonophobie genannt).

Ärzte sind da selten kompetent

Kommt man mit seiner Veranlagung gut zurecht, bedarf es keiner medizinischen oder therapeutischen Behandlung. Wenn die Probleme aber aus dem Ruder laufen und die Situation eskaliert in dem Sinn, dass man mit den Reizen nicht mehr umgehen kann und Leid entsteht, dann sollte man sich nach einer geeigneten Therapie umsehen. Wichtig ist, dass man sich einen einfühlsamen Therapeuten sucht, rät Parlow. „Ärzte sind nur selten kompetente Ansprechpartner. Sie wissen zu wenig über dieses Thema und zeigen oft wenig Verständnis, wie mir Betroffene immer wieder mitteilen“, sagt der Autor.
Freilich wird eine Behandlung die Hochsensibilität an sich nicht verändern. „Die ist so wie sie ist. Man kann an der Wahrnehmungsfähigkeit selbst nichts verändern. Veränderbar ist aber die Reaktion auf die Reize, auf das Geschehen“, sagt Possnigg.

Ist der Betroffene behandlungsbedürftig, besteht die Möglichkeit, leichte Antidepressiva zu verabreichen. „Das steigert oft auch die Reizschwelle. Man fühlt sich dann leichter, beschützt, wie in einen Mantel gehüllt. Aufpassen muss man generell bei der Dosierung von Medikamenten. Einerseits wirken diese bei Hochsensiblen oft stärker, andererseits oft auch gar nicht, außer dass die Nebenwirkungen stark hervortreten“, erklärt Possnigg.

Wann Medikamente helfen

Lärmempfindlichen rät Possnigg: „Man sollte durchaus sagen, dass es einem zu laut ist. Es ist wichtig, zu lernen, Grenzen abzustecken.“ Ein Gehörschutz kann helfen, um abzuschalten und einzuschlafen. Medikamente sollte man als Einschlafhilfe nicht nehmen, besser ist es, für eine geräuscharme Umgebung zu sorgen. Possnigg: „Medikamente kommen höchstens dann zum Einsatz, wenn eine emotionale Erschöpfung eingetreten ist. Ist der Leidensdruck sehr groß, etwa wenn man sich mit anderen Menschen nicht mehr normal unterhalten kann, ohne in Stress zu geraten, dann können Medikamente helfen.“
 

Die facettenreiche und tiefe Wahrnehmung befähigt häufig zu tiefen Gefühlen, spirituellen Einsichten und dem Erkennen komplexer Zusammenhänge. Kreative Menschen, Künstler und Denker sind in dieser Gruppe überproportional anzutreffen. Auch wenn in der heutigen Zeit, in der schnelle Entscheidungen, Durchsetzungskraft und Wagemut gefragt sind, Hochsensible es nicht eben leicht haben, mit ihrer Persönlichkeit zu punkten, so finden sie ihre Nischen in kreativen und sozialen Bereichen.

WEITERE INFORMATIONEN UNTER

www.zartbesaitet.net
www.hochsensibel.org

(diepresse.com)

The Highly sensitive person

http://books.google.at/books?id=3TaK1vfrLAAC&q=The+Highly+sensitive+person&dq=The+Highly+sensitive+person&hl=de&sa=X&ei=BtEWT5rkK4K8-QatkIijBA&ved=0CDAQ6AEwAA

Top 10 Survival Tips for the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

Secrets to surviving a highly sensitive (HSP) life
Published on May 21, 2011 by Dr. Susan Biali, M.D. in Prescriptions for Life

I've written about being a Highly Sensitive Person on this blog several times now, and each time I'm amazed by the intensity with which people respond to this topic. There are always a few critics who belittle or question the HSP concept, yet based on the huge number of page reads and overwhelmingly positive (and often grateful) responses, there really does seem to be something to this HSP phenomenon.

I first learned of this relatively common but misunderstood trait - and recognized myself in it - via the work of psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron (for detailed info on her work in this area, as well as an HSP self-test, see www.hsperson.com ). According to Aron's stats, HSPs make up 15-20 percent of the population yet often don't have a name for what has made them feel or seem "strange" or "overly sensitive" their entire life.

HSPs are easily overwhelmed by stimuli, get stressed by loud noises and strong smells, are extremely perceptive, have rich and often intense internal lives, and need plenty of quiet and down time to maintain their equilibrium (and sanity, I would personally add).

It was a great relief to me to finally understand what was "wrong" with me. I now even had an explanation for why I find any kind of violence, even the fake Hollywood kind, so abhorrent. It's not easy to go to a epic action movie with friends and to be the only one sobbing after war scenes (despite having covered my eyes the whole time - having only two hands I'm not able to cover my ears and the battle sounds alone are usually enough to push me over the edge).

Knowing what I am has helped so much, especially when it comes to supporting myself through experiences that otherwise might overload my hypersensitive senses. Here, for you, are my top ten survival strategies:

1) Get enough sleep

Lack of sleep (less than 7 hours, for most people) is well known to produce irritability, moodiness, and decreased concentration and productivity in the average person. Given our already ramped-up senses, I'm convinced that lack of sleep can make a highly sensitive life almost unbearable. Getting enough sleep soothes your senses and will help you cope with an already overwhelming world.

2) Eat healthy foods regularly throughout the day

Aron points out that extreme hunger can be disruptive to an HSP's mood or concentration. Keep your edgy nerves happy by maintaining a steady blood sugar level through regular healthy well-balanced meals and snacks. I also take fish oil (omega-3) supplements daily as the brain loves these, lots of studies support their beneficial cognitive and emotional effects.

3) Wear noise-reducing headphones

A boyfriend introduced Peltor ear protecting headphones (usually used by construction workers, not pre-med students) to me when I was 19 and studying for exams. No matter where I am in the world I have had a pair with me ever since. HSPs are highly sensitive to noise, especially the kind we can't control, and my beloved headphones give me control over my personal peace in what's all too often a noisy intrusive world.

4) Plan in decompression time

HSPs don't do well with an overly packed schedule or too much time in noisy, crowded or high pressure environments. If you know you're going to spend a few hours in a challenging environment - such as a concert, a parade, or a crowded mall at Christmas time - know that you're likely to be frazzled after and will need to decompress somewhere quiet and relaxing, on your own if possible.

5) Have at least one quiet room or space to retreat to in your home

If you live with others, create a quiet safe place you can retreat to when you need to get away from people and noise. This could be a bedroom, a study, or even just a candlelit bath (or shower if that's all you have!). I've found it often helps to listen to quiet relaxing music as well, this can even drown out more jarring external noise when you need it to.

6) Give yourself time and space to get things done

I mentioned above that HSPs don't do well with a packed schedule. I've managed to structure my work life so that I work afternoon/evening shifts the days I'm at the medical clinic. This way I'm able to get out of bed without an alarm, eat a calm unrushed breakfast and putter around before getting down to business. The calm this gives me carries through my whole day. Another strategy for those who work in the morning might be getting up extra early (after 8 hours sleep, of course) to enjoy the quiet before the rest of the household wakes up.

7) Limit caffeine

HSPs are sensitive to caffeine - I usually can't even handle the traces of caffeine found in decaf coffee. If you're a coffee drinker (or dark chocolate junkie) and identify with the HSP trait description, giving up the joe might be a big step towards feeling more collected and calm.

8) Keep the lights down low

I've never liked bright lights and learning about HSP helped me understand why. Minimizing light stimulation goes a long way: I only put on low lights in the evening, and prefer to shop in certain local grocery stores which have gentle mood lighting, avoiding the garishly lit, crowded "big box" stores whenever I can.

9) Get things done in off hours

To avoid crowds and the associated noise and stimulation, I've learned to live my life outside of the average person's schedule. I grocery shop late in the evenings, run errands during the week whenever I can, go to movies on weeknights, and go out for my walks before the rest of the world hits the jogging path. An added bonus: by avoiding the crowds I usually get things done faster , and almost always get a parking spot!

10) Surround yourself with beauty and nature

Since we HSPs are so sensitive and deeply affected by our surroundings, envelop yourself with beauty and calm whenever possible. I've decorated my home simply in a way that's very pleasing to my eye, with minimal clutter and chaos. I also spend as much time as I can walking in nature, enjoying the quiet and its naturally healing and calming beauty.

Dr. Susan Biali is a practicing medical doctor, wellness expert, international speaker, life coach and professional flamenco dancer. She is also the author of Live a Life You Love: 7 Steps to a Healthier, Happier, More Passionate You.

(psychologytoday.com)

Hypersensitivity: Are You a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)?

Could you be hypersensitive? If you keep hearing "you're so sensitive!" from family and friends, you could be a highly sensitive person (HSP) and have hypersensitivity.
by Zoe Kessler

After I told my younger sister, Melissa, about my attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD) diagnosis, we reminisced about our childhood. “If there were family arguments, we would think it was something little, but, for you, it was huge,” said Melissa. “Something that I considered a minor spat, you felt was monumental and earth-shattering.” It wasn’t until I was 48 that I recognized what caused me to be a drama queen: I was born with ADD/ADHD and hypersensitivity.

What Is Hypersensitivity or Who Are Highly Sensitive People (HSP)?
Being a highly sensitive person (HSP) is not a disorder. In fact, it brings many benefits, such as being able to “read” the mood of a room quickly and factoring in subtle cues when making a decision. “It’s good in some situations and not in others,” says psychologist and psychotherapist Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D., author of The Highly Sensitive Person. She believes knowing that you have hypersensitivity is important. As with ADD/ADHD, being aware of it makes you realize that you’re not alone.

Symptoms of Hypersensitivity 

• High level of sensitivity to phyiscal (via sound, sigh, touch, or smell) and or emotional stimuli
• More likely to suffer from asthma, eczema, and allergies
• Easily overwhelmed by too much information

How I Disocered My Hypersensitivity or Highly Sensitive Personality (HSP)
I first learned about the genetic nature of hypersensitivity by reading Scattered, by Gabor Maté, M.D., a physician and psychotherapist. “People with ADD are hypersensitive,” says Maté. “That is not a fault, it is how they were born. It is their inborn temperament.” When I read The Highly Sensitive Person, by psychologist and psychotherapist Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D., I finally recognized this sensitivity in myself. According to Aron, 15 to 20 percent of the population is born with a high level of sensitivity.

“When you know that you are highly sensitive, it reframes your life,” says Aron. Knowing that you have this trait will enable you to make better decisions. “Sensitive people have to live differently in order to be comfortable.” Clinicians working with people with ADD/ADHD view hypersensitivity, both physical and/or emotional, as a common comorbid condition.

“[People with ADD/ADHD] often are hypersensitive in one of the sensory domains: sound, touch, or smell,” says Ned Hallowell, M.D., author of Driven to Distraction. “My daughter with ADD/ADHD will only wear cotton, she won’t wear wool.”

I discovered that my longtime habit of fidgeting with my hair was due to hypersensitivity. I dislike the feel of hair strands tickling my face and neck, so I bunch it up in a knot. Before long, it feels like someone is driving her knuckles into my skull, just where I’ve knotted my hair. So down it comes. And so on, throughout the day. Other sensitivities include sounds and visual stimuli -- flashing lights and moving objects. Studies suggest that those with ADD/ADHD also suffer more from asthma, eczema, and allergies -- conditions of hypersensitivity -- than those without ADD/ADHD.

More Signs of Hypersensitivity, HSP
Prior to discovering my hypersensitivity, I perceived my over-the-top emotions as a character flaw. My mom would say, “Why can’t you get on an even keel?” As a child, I didn’t have an answer. This added to my already-low self-esteem.

“Recognizing their high sensitivity can help people stop feeling bad about themselves,” says Aron.

A friend, Denise, diagnosed with ADD/ADHD at age eight, had a similar childhood to mine. “My parents would say, ‘You need to toughen up. Don’t be so sensitive. Don’t be so influenced by what others think about you,’” says Denise. “I still find, as an adult, that if I’m fighting with peers, I immediately take their words and gestures to heart. I’m too quick to accept the nasty things they may be saying about me.”

Like me, Denise is sensitive to environmental noise. “I need to get into a forest or a quiet place every once in awhile to calm myself down. I am also overwhelmed by the constant flow of information we are bombarded with these days.”

Psychologist and ADD/ADHD coach Michele Novotni, Ph.D., says she sees higher levels of physical sensitivities and emotional reactivity in her ADD/ADHD clients than in the general population. She told me about a client whose manager made an unkind, unfair remark at work. A person without ADD/ADHD may have let the words bounce off of him, but her client, who has a high level of sensitivity, ended up in tears.

Novotni suggests that it is her ADD/ADHD clients’ feeling overwhelmed that leads to their hypersensitive reactions. This, in turn, contributes to their difficulty in coping emotionally. Take the routine of going to work in the morning. Most people get out the door without forgetting anything, ready with a game plan for the day. Someone with ADD/ADHD, who can’t sort tasks and prioritize, feels tired and overwhelmed by the time he gets to work.

“Some of my clients tell me that socializing is work,” says Novotni. “So if you think about the things that most people do for recreation as being work, you probably won’t have the resiliency to cope with other things that come down the pike.”

Why People With ADD/ADHD Are Likely to Have Hypersensitivity, HSP
“Just as we have trouble filtering what goes out,” says Hallowell, who has ADD/ADHD himself, “we have trouble filtering what comes in. I can’t back this up with research, but in my clinical experience, and in my own life, it seems that we tend to let things get to us. We take on the experiences of others very quickly, like the insect on the leaf that takes on the color of the leaf.”

Maté explains that, if ADDers are born with a high level of sensitivity, it takes less stimulation for them to feel more. We had rather tune out stimulating conversations and environments, says Maté. The more sensitive we are, the more likely we’ll feel pain. “Emotional pain and physical pain are experienced in the same part of the brain,” he says.

Many of us have discovered positive things about living with ADD/ADHD, and a high level of sensitivity may also be used to our advantage. But like ADD/ADHD, hypersensitivity must be managed and controlled to let the positive aspects -- creativity, empathy, and depth of perception -- shine through. I’ve managed to do it, and so can you.

Hypersensitivity, HSP Treatments

• Honor your sensitivity. Don’t make yourself do things that are difficult. As much as possible, choose situations that suit your temperament. Highly sensitive people need more time than others to process the events of the day, so don’t overload yourself by going out in the evening.
• Step back. Allow yourself your emotional reaction to a situation, but accept that there are other possibilities. Calm down, analyze the situation, and rethink it; pause for reflection. 
• Block it out. To avoid sensory overload and anxiety, always have earplugs and a headset with you to block out noise. 
• Tone it down. If crowds and noise are problems, find venues that are quieter and less populated -- a smaller grocery store instead of a major chain, for example, or a small doctor’s office located in a home instead of a large group practice at a hospital. 
• Reduce extraneous stimulation by saying no to things you don’t have to do or that you just don’t want to do. 
• Make sure you’ve had enough sleep, or take a nap, before facing a situation that will be highly stimulating. 
• Meditate, pray, or use another relaxation method to strengthen your ability to cope with day-to-day challenges.

(additudemag.com)

This week's ADHD Solution is: Underbook yourself.

Are you chronically overbooked? Do you habitually plan more than you can accomplish in a day? And then feel bad about yourself because you didn’t get it all done?

People with ADHD tend to underestimate how long things take. We also tend to not plan for contingencies, like bad traffic or unexpected phone calls. And we rarely account for our own distractibility and impulsivity when planning our days. As a result, we constantly feel rushed and stressed. And at the end of the day, we lament all that was left undone.

Try reversing the trend by underbooking yourself. Select your usual number of tasks for the day, and then choose half of them. Plan to do just those things. Notice how great you feel at the end of the day when you’ve gotten everything done. You probably haven’t done any less work than yesterday, but you feel much better about your accomplishments.

Cutting your list in half not enough? Select even fewer tasks tomorrow. Keep experimenting until you can forecast how much you can really fit into one day. Putting unrealistic demands on yourself increases your stress, which in turn makes your ADHD symptoms even harder to manage. Who needs that?

Underbooking yourself is one easy way to maintain a positive state of mind. That’s something we can all use.

www.adhdsolutions.net

I'm a psycho?

Today I was called a psycho by a guy whom i actually liked quite a lot and he also asked me if I had taken my meds and was also told by him to take my meds before responding, which I did not do (respond to those insults), as I know I am not a psycho and I do not feel ashamed having ADD and also do not see it as a reason to getting belittled or abused by someone.

Just now, i read this on connect.additudemag.com:

ADD Inattentive-Type wife married to Bipolar needs help

I’m not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I’ll give it a shot. *smile*

I have ADD inattentive-type and my husband is Bipolar. We’ve been married for 21yrs. But it’s a constant uphill battle. For many years, I thought the problems we had stemmed from his Bipolar. For example, he goes on and on asking why I do the things I do.. . ranting for hours about how stupid I am and why what was I thinking?
But from reading some of the posts in this group, I think it’s me. I guess I would drive anyone crazy. . . .
I just want to inform the people that are married to people like me, to please try to be a little patient and understand we’re not this way on purpose. By the time, you’ve started ranting at us about why we did or didn’t do something, we’ve already said worse things to ourselves. That’s why we close up and don’t respond.
We didn’t set out to make your lives miserable. We think and do things different from other people. It doesn’t make us stupid, lazy, or crazy—just different.

And one of the answers was:

Calling anyone “stupid” is verbal abuse.  No matter what the cause, bi-polar or ADD or anything, this behavior is not excusable.  Please set your limits and inform your spouse of those boundaries.  When you have reached your limit, take action. See a marriage counselor or attorney.  Do not stay in an abusive situation.  It doesn;t help either you or your husband.

So Thank God that guy called me a psycho before marriage and not after! I think what people with AD(H)D need to learn is to have more self-esteem and to realize that we are not ill and not less valuable to society, family etc. than people who do not have AD(H)D. Maybe there are some things that we cannot do as well as others, but therefore there are things that we can handle much much better than them :) we should focus more on what we can, than on what we can't!

Reduce Anxiety Naturally

Six tips for treating anxiety without medication.
by Sandy Maynard

For those of us with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD), a little worry can quickly escalate to full-blown anxiety. When stress levels rise, we procrastinate, which only exacerbates ADD/ADHD symptoms. We become more forgetful, disorganized, and distracted. Amy, a working mother diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, is a worrier. As a freelance event planner, she uses her inclination to worry to anticipate problems that might ruin an event. She is successful, in part, because of it. At home, though, Amy can’t turn off the worry switch.

We agreed that life was not as easy as planning for an event. Life is unpredictable. When Amy realized that needless worry was sapping her emotional energy and motivation, she made changes that gave her a sense of peace. These days, when Amy worries about something she can’t do anything about, she writes her worry down on a scrap of paper, shreds it, and stops thinking about it. She also takes yoga classes three times a week, which reduces anxiety. Here are other suggestions that help Amy worry less and enjoy life more:

Limit or postpone worrisome thoughts.
Set a timer and give yourself permission to worry, for a specific amount of time. Writing worries down to mull over later also helps free you from them. Reading about something you worried about in the fresh light of a new day makes it seem unfounded.

Try for perfect; settle for imperfect.
Making your best effort at work is always a good goal. But you can’t be perfect in all facets of your job, or your life, without your effort causing you worry and burnout. A client of mine is an excellent technical writer, who works in health-care communications. When she started her job, she’d fret over e-mails and memos to coworkers, making sure every word was a pearl, sometimes at the expense of meeting the deadline. This resulted in 60-hour workweeks, burnout, and, eventually, late assignments. We decided she would save her writing skills, and her perfectionism, for the documents that really counted -- the ones that were written for outside clients.

Do what you can.
Thinking about everything that could go wrong does not make life more predictable or safe. Excessive worry prevents you from enjoying the present. Those with ADD/ADHD worry about things going wrong, because things have gone wrong in the past. Doing things differently gives you the assurance that you’ve done all you can to change the outcome. So you can stop worrying. One ADD/ADHD mom who went back to work after maternity leave worried about whether the nanny she hired would take good care of her daughter while she was at the office. She installed a nanny-cam that allowed her to monitor the babysitter. It calmed her fears.

Re-frame negative thoughts.
Many with ADD/ADHD have low self-esteem, which results in negative thinking and debilitating worry. Challenging negative thoughts with positive thinking can short-circuit the process. Sam, a new hire at a prestigious law firm, felt insecure about being able to do a good job. We decided that, when he had doubts, he should remind himself that the brightest in the business decided to hire him over other applicants.

Tell your worry to a supportive friend.
I had a tough time picking out a dress for my son’s wedding. It should have been the happiest shopping trip I ever made, but it wasn’t. I worried about everything I tried on: Was it too short? The wrong color? Too fancy? Too plain? I couldn’t make a decision until I asked my girlfriend to join me on a second trip. She dismissed my worries, and I walked out with the perfect dress.

Learn relaxation exercises.
Simple breathing techniques, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can be done almost any time that worries escalate and create indecision and inaction. Several studies show that meditation increases attention while reducing stress.

(additudemag.com)