AD(H)D - Attention Deficit (Hyperactivity) Disorder: August 2024

Friday, August 30, 2024

Some Good Words about ADHD

C: Township

... Among all of Shankman’s interests, he is perhaps best known for his unusual and very personal take on ADHD. He is convinced that the condition, often considered a hindrance, has helped him, by making him “faster than normal.” ...

I agree with him. I also see ADD as an advantage and believe, that it makes me understand, determine, decide, work, play etc. faster.

When people explain something, I tend to understand it faster than others around me.

The faster the game, the better I get. Actually, a game has to be either slow & relaxing like merge or coloring games, or really fast like the mini-game "Township Sheep Rescue" which was a mini-game of the mobile game Township that I used to play in the past.

I never won anything and was actually quite bad in all the other mini-games like the roller coaster mini-game, which many others won. Then Township published that sheep mini-game which I won 3x while many others complained that it was too fast.

This was when I realized why I am so bad at shooter games or jump-and-run games like Super Mario: Too slow! The time between the jumps or shooting, the time of running, is far "too long" and my brain falls asleep - the faster the game the more awake my brain gets!

You can read the article Some Good Words about ADHD here.

Being neurodivergent

What does hyperfocus look like?

People often think that those with ADHD have a short attention span or that they are unable to pay attention at all (hence the name ‘attention deficit’).
However, it is more accurate to describe people with ADHD as having dysregulated attention, meaning that there are some tasks where they may struggle to give attention, but others where they may give extreme attention.
When someone hyperfocuses, it may be hard to get their attention. When spoken to, there may be no response or even acknowledgment that they heard anything. They can get so absorbed in a task that they appear to completely ignore or tune out everything else.
People who hyperfocus may often experience ‘time blindness,’ which means they do not see or feel time (Ozel-Kizil, 2016).

I used to be so focused that I forgot to drink for many many hours so that I even got a urinary tract infection once.

If someone hyperfocuses for hours on end, they may find that they have neglected to take care of themselves (Sklar, 2013). They may have skipped meals, not drank any water, showered, or spent any time outside or exercising.

But those times have long past and it's not that bad anymore. I have noticed, that people don't understand it and worked on myself, so now I do notice what is happening around me and people can talk to me. I even trained myself to get up, go to the kitchen to get a coffee, and chat briefly with colleagues.

Many people with ADHD are able to channel their hyperfocus on productive activities such as school or work-related tasks. For instance, someone may focus on a work project until completion while in a state of hyperfocus (Hupfield et al., 2019).
Others may also reward themselves with a hyperfocusing activity for completing all their other tasks first, giving themselves the incentive to complete less interesting tasks.

But it seems, I am still too focused, disciplined, and not babbly enough for colleagues, as I still get bullied, as mentioned in my previous post.

You find more information on hyperfocus in this really good article: What does hyperfocus look like?

Wednesday, August 28, 2024

Rejection Sensitivity

For many years now I know that I react "allergic" against perceived rejections. While I have worked on myself to not perceive everything as rejection at work, I wasn't able to do so on a private level.

Knowing this, I followed a link to the article Rejection Sensitivity on psychologytoday.com.

What I didn't know was that there is a proposal "that especially high levels of rejection sensitivity be classified as rejection sensitive dysphoria or RSD" as it is not in the DSM:

RSD has not been recognized by the DSM, an the concept itself has not yet been widely studied nor given validated diagnostic guidelines. Still, it has gained attention in recent years, most notably among adults with ADHD or borderline personality.

I am glad, I don't find myself in the Signs of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria but thought I share this interesting article nevertheless.

Bullying at the workplace due to hyperfocus & perfectionism

I have experienced so much bullying and that I am an outsider at so many workplaces that I already thought something must be wrong with me. I am 47 now and it was a struggle for the last 16 years.

I wondered if it happens to me because I work hard (hyperfocus) and well (perfectionism) and babble little with colleagues except during lunch break or if it always happens because I am a cheerful person and sulky people can't stand cheerfulness and kindness?

Or maybe, I was the awful person, the *beep*?

I often think about conversations or overall the day I had. What I said, what was said to me, what I did, how I behaved. I do not see myself as grumpy, arrogant, unkind, egoistic, rude, whatever. I see myself as friendly, cheerful, polite, helpful, considerate of others, hardly ever moody, honest, and loyal. I believe that employers pay me a salary for working and not babbling more than working and that the lunch break or after-work cocktails but not the working hours exist to interact with colleagues on a more private level.

Or could it just be the mentality of my country? A few years ago I read, that when the GIs came to Europe they got guides about the country they were deployed to. In the guide about my country, it said "There is no point in expecting them to be punctual and reliable, as we understand these terms. That is not how they are made. They really mean it when they promise to do something. They mean it just as honestly when they apologize for not doing it." It further says: "They have little respect for rules and regulations." - it made me laugh so much when I read this 6 years ago but now.

I really couldn't get my head around why this is constantly happening to me! Why do companies in my city don't want hard-working, rule-keeping employees who do their best to do the job properly? Why do they want chronically defiant (reminding of ODD at my last job), lazy employees who compensate for their defiance or laziness by bullying?

So I started searching the Internet and found this article and Michelle's experience is similar to the situation I have experienced in the last 2 weeks. My boss is friends with the bully, turning a blind eye to the person's defiance and accepting the slander about others and also herself. Michelle quit her job - my temporary employment ended and I didn't want it to be renewed.

But constantly having to quit a job is nerve-racking and not the way it should go!

Having ADD and having almost overcome an Anxiety Disorder, not focusing on my job, and not sticking to rules don't seem to be an option. So I asked CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) if they could help me with some advice and a very kind employee of CHADD not only replied very quickly but also sent me those really good articles, that explained to me, why those things were happening:

Psychology Today - Why Are You Being Bullied at Work?
Psychology Today - ADHD, Social Norms, and the Workplace
Verywell Mind - Signs and Effects of Workplace Bullying

After reading those articles, I am pretty relieved though I still don't understand, why companies rather keep bullies than the bullied (a decade ago I was told that in about 70 % of cases in my country the bullied person gets fired, not the bully), but at least I know now, that my assumption was right, that it is not my fault and that there is nothing wrong with my work mentality.

I think I'll stay kind and hard-working and hope for the best than to become the way bullies want me, so I don't get bullied! 😌

I can only recommend, contacting CHADD if you need help, or advice or are in doubt about yourself because of your AD(H)D! 💙